Between Us

I bet you’re not even thinking about me.

And I’m sitting here wondering how we got here.

I know all the reasons why I love you, and all the reasons why we can’t be.

I just want it to be simpler than that. I want all that time to be what it was.

And whatever forms to be stronger.

I just can’t stand the thought of losing you. That’s why I’m sure I can’t be with you.

But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m sitting here wondering what you’re thinking,

Whether you’ve ever wanted me –or want me now.

And if at any point when you said you loved me, you meant for more than what we were.

How can you be my other self and I can’t reach you or touch you now?

You know everything there is to know about all I’ve ever done,

And you stayed.

For all that has passed, I’ve never felt like there was a distance between us until now.

I’ve never felt like I did not know you, what you wanted or needed.
Until now. 

Maybe this is what you need; for time to pass between us,

For the emotion and words I want to share with you to cease to exist

Maybe that’s what I should be wanting.

But all I want to do is tell you that I love you

And that in that moment, I would have been fine with just you and I

My body kept still because any move I made would put this distance between us.

I can keep silent still, because I miss you and I don’t want to lose you

For you I will let this time pass

And pretend that I felt nothing, that I never wanted you

Maybe we could go back to the way we always were.   

- Analytical Dreamer